My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
