THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
