Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she looked like the before picture.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
