She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize