Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize