its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
