my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
