Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize