Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
