but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize