we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
