dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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