i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
