You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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