I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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