FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
