I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
