yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When are your genitals available?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
