all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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