So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
