the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
