just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
