Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
