you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
