I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
