i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
