If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
