He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
