Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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