The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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