she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we're making bets on your personal life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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