I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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