Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
