I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
