Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
