Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
