i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
