I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
