so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
