No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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