I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
