Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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