It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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