Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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