I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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