Small penises have feelings too.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
