normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
