I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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