It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
