i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
