erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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