A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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