Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
