Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Welp...herpes.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
