talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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