So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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