Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize