i don't like sucking hair
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
PANTIES FOUND
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