But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
