A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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